The Buffoon And The Valedictorian

"And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian."



[Valedictorian:] "I really appreciate you're asking me out.

Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement."



[Buffoon:] "This movie sucks shit!"



[Valedictorian:] "Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up,

but Ciscel thought it was too preachy.

Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly."



[Buffoon:] "Cathleen Turner has big fuckin' tits!"



[Valedictorian:] "Yes, well, she recently had a child.

I think her maternal biology may play a role in that.

She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?"



[Buffoon:] "I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin' head off."



[Valedictorian:] "Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon

for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process."



[Buffoon:] "That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head."



[Valedictorian:] "Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it."



[Buffoon eating popcorn]

[Buffoon:] "This popcorn's fuckin' terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed all over it."

[Buffoon continues to eat popcorn]



[Valedictorian:] "Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing.

Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome

by the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank."



[Buffoon:] "I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fuckin' mind!"



[Valedictorian:] "It's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd

and unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis.



[Buffoon:] "My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day!&quot